


Leaving is never easy

by Augasta



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Break Up, Hurt No Comfort, I REGRET NOTHING, I couldn't write anymore, I enjoy making Oikawa suffer, I love making people cry, M/M, More angst, Oikawa is done, Polyamory, Romance, Sad Ending, but it feels like it, not my best work, not really - Freeform, so I cut it short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 13:00:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20507402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Augasta/pseuds/Augasta
Summary: Falling out of love.Who thought that it would hurt this much?





	Leaving is never easy

**Author's Note:**

> I really tried to get this over 2000 words, but at some point, I gave up. Enjoy and suffer with me.

The loud noise of the coffee machine made Keiji startle. Normally it would not bother him, but something about this normal sound made him awake. With tired eyes, he looked around their bedroom and noticed that one of his lovers was missing.

Tooru was a late sleeper. He got up early to attend his training, but when he had a chance, he was barely getting out of bed. So Keiji was surprised that Tooru was already awake, even though it was Sunday. Hajime and Koutarou still slept soundly, Koutarou snored and Hajime drooled a bit on his pillow. They were both very cute, but Keiji resisted the urge to cuddle up to them and stood up.

Tooru was busy in the kitchen and had already set up breakfast. Keiji could see boiled eggs and ham and a bag of hot rolls. So he had been outside already. He sneaked up from behind and put his hands around his waist to hug Tooru. He stiffened in surprise, but relaxed when he saw Keiji behind him.

"Good morning, sleepyhead, slept well?" Tooru asked and smiled as Keiji mumbled an unintelligible answer in his neck.

"Why are you awake already? We wanted to sleep in." Keiji complained.

"Hey, do not fall asleep," Tooru said with a chuckle and turned to Keiji, took his head in his hands and wanted to press a kiss to his lips, but Keiji moved away.

"Move, you're uncomfortable," mumbled Keiji and shoved himself of Tooru. He saw the disappointment in Toorus eyes but ignored it.

"Thanks for breakfast."

"Thanks, Keiji, that makes me very happy," Tooru said and smiled a little bit.

Keiji lay down on the sofa and Tooru watched him with conflicted emotions, until Hajime shuffled out of the bedroom.

"Good Morning," he said tiredly and yawned heartily. Tooru put a finger to his lips.

"Keiji's sleeping again, he worked so hard yesterday and I wanted to surprise you with breakfast, but I woke him up," whispered Tooru, feeling guilty. Keiji learned a lot at the moment, he soon had his exams and was awake late into the night. Tooru wanted to support him, but he did not understand nuclear physics.

"You should buy a new coffee machine, this one makes too many annoying noises," Hajime replied and walked past him to make his coffee. As the machine chattered, he turned to Tooru, who stared at him with a loving smile.

"How long have you been awake?" he asked, and Tooru glanced at Koutarou's green watch he had insisted on as the four pulled together. It was already half-past ten.

"Since half-past five," said Tooru and he wanted that Hajime scolds him for that. That he says that he cares, that he wants Tooru to be healthy and happy, he wants him to cuddle him and kiss him, _oh he wants to kiss him __**so **__much_, but it seemed like an eternity since they kissed or touched him. As if he wasn't attractive to them anymore.

"Hm," Hajime mumbled and took his mug.

"I can sleep a few hours this afternoon, do not worry, I'll survive." Tooru rambled, but Hajime didn't seem to acknowledge that. He walked past Tooru and sat down.

Tooru flinched at the obvious rejection. Hajime was avoiding him. He never did that. He confronted him when there was something wrong. Tooru didn't know this Hajime. This Hajime was a stranger.

"Could you make yourself useful for once and bring me the post?" Hajime said and Tooru tried really hard not to cry. It's been a while since Hajime belittled and talked him down like this. He hated it.

Hajime shot him a warning glare and Tooru nodded. They parted when they heard the yawning Koutarous as he came into the kitchen with the pillow under his arm.

"Coffee."

"Oh no," Tooru said sternly and took Koutarous mug out of his hands.

"Tooru~" he whined but as he saw the warm milk standing on the table he gave up immediately.

"How thoughtful," Hajime said and kissed Koutarou on the cheek as he sits down. He yawns adorably and stretches his sore muscles. The training was hard. So was living. And work. And this relationship.

Tooru knew that when he accepted Keiji's and Koutarous confession. Hajime wanted to try, as he liked them already, but was waiting for Tooru to be ready for a relationship with four people.

But the reality wasn't that awkward as he thought first. They were wonderful and kind people, men he liked very much, but he knew, that there was something between the three of them, that excluded him from them. A secret maybe. Something he didn't know about. He could feel that they were distant with him, all three.

"Have you slept well?" Tooru asked and grabbed a chair for himself.

"As much as I could with you moving around," Koutarou answered and shrugged. Tooru flinched at the accusing words. Koutarou wasn't comfortable with him in bed?

"Would it help, if I moved to the other end?" Tooru asked and feared the answer.

"No. I don't know why, but I'm not sleeping well these days... Well since Friday actually." he replies and Tooru nodded along. He came home Friday after a business trip for a week. So he was the cause of Koutarou being uncomfortable...

"I see," he said and was silent the rest of breakfast. Keiji woke up in the middle of it and wiggled to the table.

"Good morning." he yawns and looked lovingly at Hajime and Koutarou. Soon they were talking with each other and if Tooru wanted to interfere it seemed inappropriate behavior and he kept his mouth shut. They didn't ask him about it and he didn't elaborate either.

He decided to sleep on the couch that night.

__^°^__

A change was unstoppable.

Tooru knew that. He felt that his boyfriends created a bubble without him and it became more obvious every day.

Keiji forgot to cook his share.

Hajime forgot to wash his laundry.

Koutarou forgot their date.

They forgot their usual Sunday evening movie marathon. Tooru cooked. He picked movies. He bought snacks created a romantic vibe with new candles and music. He tried.

But it wasn't enough.

He wasn't enough.

Maybe he wasn't enough to begin with. Maybe Hajime just asked him out because he was so persistent about their relationship with Keiji and Koutarou. He regrets it. That he said yes so fast. It seemed like the right choice then, but now he knew, that it actually wasn't.

They didn't love him as he loved them.

"Where were you yesterday?" he asked them. Hajime looks at him with bewilderment, like he didn't know, what he was talking about. Keiji and Koutarou were frowning.

"Out." That was it.

Tooru felt his heartbreak. They finally showed how much they really cared for him. Everything made sense now. Why they left him out. Why they didn't show any affection or love. They grew tired of him. Tired of his tantrums tired of his moods tired of his whole being. Normally Tooru wouldn't give a flying fuck about what others thought about him. But this was different. Those men were the love of his life. What should he do?

Tooru thought about his choices. Hajime, Keiji, and Koutarou seemed to be a very good match, their relationship was blooming, there were no large arguments between them. They seemed peaceful together. Complete even. There was no reason, why he should insist to break up in two pairs again. He was doubtful, that Hajime would leave the other two to stay with him. After all, Hajime loved Keiji and Koutarou more than him.

Tooru was a piece, that didn't belong in the art of that relationship. It was only natural, that they would ignore him. He was strange, awkward to be around with. He understood.

So he made a decision. He would leave. That was for the best. 

He waited for the next appropriate day. Hajime was out with his friends, Keiji and Koutarou were shopping and wanted to watch a movie. Everybody would come home late in the evening. Perfect. He packed his things and booked a hotel room for the next two weeks. In that time he had to look for his own apartment. Another thing he was surprised about: He didn't own that much as he thought. Sure, clothes and make-up, but he didn't own furniture, nor kitchen stuff. He had his own mug and that was it. He didn't even have his own chopsticks or something. He felt like a stranger, that slept over in this house a couple of times, not like someone, who lived in this flat for two years. He was dumbstruck. 

He transferred his part of the rent for this month to their joint account and opened his own at another bank. After that, he looked at his keys. He had three different keychains. One was a present from Hajime, a volleyball. The other one was from Keiji, a little heart with their names. And the third from Koutarou, a box filled with popcorn. He smiled sadly at the memories, that popped up. The four of them together laughing. How did they end up like this? Was it his fault? Probably. No, surely. He seemed to be the only one having problems in this relationship.

He took the chains off and threw them in the bin. No attachments. Then he took the key of the flat and placed it on the kitchen table with a note. 

_Hajime, Keiji, Koutarou,_

_I'll have to leave for a while. I wasn't sure, how to bring this matter up to you and I thought, that this is the most painless way to do it. _  
_I'm sure, that all of you noticed a change in our relationship and while I think, that the change is mostly my fault, I'm going to be responsible for it. _

_I love you all very much, but I'm sorry, that I couldn't make this work. Please don't hate me for this. _

_I love you._  
_Tooru. _

He'd expected it, but he couldn't cry. No matter how hard he tried, there was not a single tear. 

He left the apartment without looking back.


End file.
